Hi and welcome,
I'm Master Frank, owner of Lions Panzek Martial Arts in Winfield, Illinois.
If you've spent any amount of time around children, you've probably heard four very familiar words:
"I don't want to."
I don't want to do my homework.
I don't want to clean my room.
I don't want to go to practice.
I don't want to try that.
I don't want to.
As parents, it can be frustrating.
As instructors, we hear it too.
In fact, if I had a dollar for every time a child told me they didn't want to do something, I might be writing this newsletter sitting on a beach instead of at the dojang.
The interesting thing is that "I don't want to" is usually not the real issue.
Most of the time, it is something hiding underneath.
Fear.
Uncertainty.
Embarrassment.
Frustration.
Lack of confidence.
Or sometimes they're simply having a rough day.
The challenge is helping children learn that not wanting to do something is not always a reason to avoid it.
Feelings Are Real—But They Aren't Always in Charge
One of the most valuable lessons martial arts teaches is that feelings and actions are not the same thing.
A student may feel nervous.
They can still step onto the mat.
A student may feel frustrated.
They can still practice.
A student may feel unsure.
They can still try.
That's an important life skill.
Because if we only acted when we felt motivated, very little would get done.
Most adults already know this.
There are mornings we don't feel like exercising.
Days we don't feel like working.
Weekends we don't feel like cleaning the garage.
(And somehow the garage survives another week.)
The point is not to ignore feelings.
The point is to recognize them without allowing them to make every decision.
Motivation Is Overrated
That may sound strange coming from a martial arts instructor, but hear me out.
Many people think successful students are highly motivated all the time.
They're not.
The students who succeed are often the students who show up even when motivation is missing.
The black belt doesn't become a black belt because they always feel excited.
They become a black belt because they keep coming back.
The same is true in school.
In sports.
In music.
In life.
Consistency beats motivation more often than people realize.
What We See in the Dojang
One of my favorite moments is watching a student walk into class looking less than enthusiastic.
You can almost hear their thoughts.
"I don't want to be here."
Then class starts.
They partner up.
They laugh with friends.
They practice.
They improve.
They leave smiling.
The very thing they didn't want to do becomes the highlight of their day.
That happens more often than you might think.
Children are not always the best judges of what will make them feel good later.
Honestly, adults aren't much better.
A Simple Strategy for Parents
The next time your child says, "I don't want to," try responding with curiosity instead of confrontation.
Ask:
"What part don't you want to do?"
Sometimes you'll uncover the real issue.
Maybe they're worried about making mistakes.
Maybe they're tired.
Maybe something happened earlier in the day.
Maybe they're nervous about being challenged.
Once you understand what's underneath, you can address the actual problem rather than the surface complaint.
Then help them focus on the next small step.
Not the whole mountain.
Just the next step.
Put on the uniform.
Walk into the building.
Participate in the first activity.
Take the first turn.
Often that's all it takes.
Building the Skill of Doing Hard Things
One of my favorite sayings around the dojang is:
"It may be hard. I may be scared. But I can try."
Those twelve words contain one of the most important lessons a child can learn.
The goal isn't perfection.
The goal isn't guaranteed success.
The goal is trying.
That mindset changes everything.
Children who learn to try despite discomfort become teenagers who can handle challenges.
Those teenagers become adults who can navigate life's ups and downs with resilience.
And it all starts with small moments.
Moments when they didn't feel like doing something but did it anyway.
Final Thought
There will always be days when your child doesn't feel motivated.
That's normal.
The goal isn't to eliminate those feelings.
The goal is to help them learn that feelings don't have to be the boss.
When children learn to move forward despite uncertainty, frustration, or fear, they develop something far more valuable than motivation.
They develop character.
And character has a way of showing up long after motivation has packed its bags and gone home.
See you on the mat,
Master Frank
Lions Panzek Martial Arts
27W239 Geneva Rd, Winfield, IL
Ready to Help Your Child Learn They Can Do Hard Things?
At Lions Panzek Martial Arts, students learn more than martial arts techniques.
They learn how to focus, persevere, handle challenges, and keep moving forward when things get difficult.
Whether your child is shy, energetic, easily frustrated, or simply needs a positive environment to grow, we're here to help.
Try Two Weeks of Classes FREE
If you are interested in giving our a school a try for your child (or yourself) we would like to give you a 2 week FREE trial that includes a uniform. Just click the link below to register.